V-Day

It's a whole new ballgame this time around.

I've spent a number of Valentine's Days without someone. Well, relatively few have been set for romance, but it's been an occasion that's fallen on times I was happily single, extremely happily taken, hopeful, or not far removed from a previous relationship. I've seen the spectrum, and had a few I could actually express my feelings during. And yet in the past, regardless of status the day itself didn't affect me much other than to give me a good excuse to plan something for someone when the timing was good. I figured... kinda made up holiday, and I can be romantic any day of the year I choose. I won't be tied to cultural expectations of this particular day, basically ;-)

But something's just tough about this one, when it never was before. I just want to spend an unplanned random day with that special someone, maybe a road trip to start, then at the very least a candle-lit dinner before dancing the night away. I guess I mentioned it in my "25 things", but I just want the chance to be creatively romantic again... I shortchanged so many occasions before, and it's been so long. I'm tired of feeling either discouraged or unable. Not looking forward to more of the same. it makes one realize how important it is to make the times you can, count.

It's funny because up to now, I've shied away from dancing with anyone but the girl I was enamored with or dating. It just didn't feel right. So I never learned ballroom, salsa, swing, whatever, on top of slow dancing. I even went through a phase where I thought dancing was pointless... probably because I'm not good at it ;-). (The kind of "dancing" people do at clubs still bothers me, that's the only exception.) Anyway, I still hoped I'd find someone that would want to learn with me. Any upcoming girl is going to have to want to!

It's been joked that tomorrow is "singles awareness day", haha true, true for us. This one's different, this one's finally harder to handle than just the frustration of being away from someone I care about. I can at least now chalk up knowing what it's like. But I hold no animosity to those that have a Valentine, and I hope it's a good one for many :)